"Yeah, but why?" This is a question I get from Big Magick, 3 years old, a lot. Sometimes it gets on my nerves, sometimes it gives me the opportunity to explain things that he otherwise wouldn't have had a chance to learn about. A reader mentioned to me that in the Jewish faith, this week begins a time of reflection (and fasting, but I am not nice on no food.). So, in honor of that, I will answer my sweet son's question, "yeah, but why?"
I tried to be Christian, I tried. I tried to read the bible, tried out some different churches, asked questions. But it just never felt right. It was like trying to wear shoes someone else had broken in first. The shoes looked like they would fit, but just won't ever be comfortable. I thought maybe any belief system just wasn't for me at all. Maybe I was Athiest? But that didn't feel right either. I know there is something. I just never could put my finger on it. Until I came across Paganism. It fit like the most perfect pair of blue jeans, comfortable as if someone else had broken them in for me, but made in a way that they could only have been made for my body. I finally had something to believe in.
But why? Why do I believe in magick when I couldn't believe in other things? I think to me, magick and Paganism just make sense, what you put out is what you get back. Makes sense. All things are connected and therefore responsible for each other. Makes sense. Focusing energy in a specific direction to affect change. Makes sense. To me, it just makes sense to light candles in gratitude or carry a specific stone in your pocket. To me, it makes sense to send healing energy to people who aren't well. All of those things just seem to work for me.
I try to be the best person I can be. The best mom, wife, friend. Not the 'perfect' person, the most morally responsible, genuine person I can be. Magick allows me to be better than I was before. Not because I am 'magically' absolved from wrong doing or morally somehow better because I identify deity within myself. Just because it makes me happier believing what I believe. It makes me feel like I can affect positive change in my environment. It makes me the best version of me.
So, dear reader, that's but why. :)
Bright Blessings.
I totally agree! I tried the Christian road, too. So much so I went the whole dresses only route, which is SOOOOO not me.I tried to be someone else to please others, which I thought would make me feel better about myself. Um... no. I couldn't STAND myself. Why was I different? Why couldn't I fit in? Then I finally said "to heck with it" and decided to be me. One of the best decisions ever. I am so at ease with myself now. I love the freedom. I love how confident I feel. People don't have to understand you. Some never will and it's not on you. Just keep on being you, spreading that love and light. You're a treasure, a gift. If they're too blind to see that, it's their loss. You are awesome! ~ Nyte Skye
ReplyDeleteLove the way you answered this .. Your so right.. So many of us try to fit into something that isnt us. I knew from a some what young age that what my parents were teaching me wasnt the right fit for me..Just like those dam jeans you try to put on that you know WONT fit because your just to big for them. It is ok to NOT fit into something because there is always another size out there for you.. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks so much you two!! I am so glad to know that I am not alone in feeling 'different' and being totally okay with being this way! :) I love love love my path now, I feel more secure in myself. I am happier in my marriage. I even feel like I look better if that makes any sense.. I think I am really embracing living in my own skin. I feel like shouting it from the rooftops, but I know better. lol. So I sing it in my own home and love every minute of it. Blessed Be ladies!
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